How Do You Know When You Are Addicted to Sex?
Tiger’s in a treatment program for sex addiction; but does he have an addiction to sex? If he does, what does that mean? If the person with ...
Tiger’s in a treatment program for sex addiction; but does he have an addiction to sex? If he does, what does that mean? If the person with a sex addiction is married, what is a spouse supposed to do?
You might have a sexual addiction if…
You think about sex all the time. No, I mean it. All the time. You have difficulty getting yourself to do anything because you’re thinking about sex. About the act. About what you’re going to do to have sex. About who you’re going to have sex with – your spouse or partner, a friend or acquaintance, a stranger, or someone else. There’s a part of you that knows this kind of thinking is over the top, out of control, but no matter what, you can’t do anything about your sexual thoughts.
You do just about anything; going to great lengths to have sex. You make excuses, lie, anything so you can have sex. You miss work; you miss time with your family and friends. You spend lots of money on sex. You regularly go to strip clubs, pay for phone sex, visit prostitutes, watch pornography on T.V. or the computer, or both. You masturbate – a lot. Like, more than five times a day, every day. The problem; because you say or do or pay just about anything for sex, anything means that you put yourself in danger for sex. Danger of losing your job, danger of losing money, danger of losing relationships important to you, danger of contracting some sexually transmitted disease, danger of getting yourself hurt, physically. And you know what you’re doing. You don’t like yourself because you’re spending amazing amounts of money, saying and doing things that are hurtful to those important to you and yourself, things that say to you ‘I’m out of control’, but knowing this you still do these things.
I was talking with a friend today – the person was expressing concern about people who have a sexual addiction – concern these individuals are sexual offenders. They are child molesters, or rapists. People who are addicted to sex usually aren’t looking to rape, or molest children. Some do engage in radical sexual behavior, and a small percentage of people become sexual offenders.
If you’re reading this and think you may have a sexual addiction:
Talk to your spouse. This may be difficult, but you have a great opportunity to be honest – you might save your relationship.
Talk with a professional about treatment programs that address sexual addiction. Your addiction is different from alcohol or drug addiction.
Get yourself in a support group. There are local groups available.
If you’re reading this and think you’re involved with, or married to someone who is addicted to sex:
Talk to your spouse – express your thoughts and as specifically as possible, what worries you
Talk to a professional – get objective feedback about your concerns – you might do this with your spouse – not an easy thing to do, but I’d recommend honesty with your spouse
Look for support – this can be found in support groups
Talk, talk, and talk some more – talking is uncomfortable, but important
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