10 Things U Never Do In A Relationship
1) Cheat – it is sometimes forgiven, but never forgotten. Dishonesty throws trust out of the relationship. And trust is the most difficult thing to redevelop. I've been trying to earn my partner's trust for over 2 years. No matter what you do, it will always be at the back of your partner's mind that you are a cheater and you cannot blame them if almost everything you do becomes suspicious to them. Even more threatening is the risk of unsafe sex than can bring sexually transmitted infections and diseases into your relationship.
2) Snoop – STOP snooping around on your partner's phone and their social networking sites. Even though you may consider each other as one, you both still need personal space because you are two different people. Once you have invaded their personal space, it becomes an addiction. You depend on looking through his/her texts and calls or scanning their timeline or wall. If you find something that makes you upset and you approach them with it, you risk them losing your trust. This may also cause them to not be open about themselves to you because they don't want you jumping to conclusions. Once this communication becomes disrupted, it becomes comfortable to have secrets, secrets lead to lies and dishonesty (destroyers of trust). If you believe that your partner is doing something you don't approve of, talk to them, but don't snoop around.
3) Not Listen – when people argue, the objective is to get your point across. But, at the same time it is important to listen. All the yelling and not giving each other time to talk make your points sound like blah blah blah and it solves nothing. Arguments are useless without solutions. Give each other time to speak. If during your partner's point, you feel like saying something, indicate that you have something to say. Not only are you allowing your partner room to listen to what you have to say, but you are also being respectful. Most often you two might be agreeing on some points, but you cannot hear them over all the yelling. Also, when your partner presents an argument, do not give them the silent treatment; say what you need to say. If you don't want to talk about it at the moment, just ask to speak about it at another time. A respectful partner would not only ask why, but will also allow for it.
4) Preoccupy your time – make time to date your partner. It keeps the relationship fresh. When things are repetitive, they become boring. Don't stay in every time, GO OUT, and do things that your partner likes, but you will enjoy as well. If you only limit the date to what one person likes, problems are bound to spur.
5) Be clingy – before you met your partner, they had a life without you. Give them the space to hang out with other people or even spend sometime with themselves. REMEMBER: you are two different people. Realize that there are some things that your partner may prefer doing with other people, either out of habit or comfort. Respect that. It also gives you the opportunity to have free time to do the same.
6) Become close friends with your partner's friends – in case you go through a separation or break up, you don't want to risk having your friends choose between hanging with you or your partner. They may not always choose you. OUCH. And if they choose both of you that disturbs your healing time and everyone needs time to heal.
7) Talk about your exes –If you still talk about your exes, you haven't quite moved on. Even if you think you have, you are bringing problems from the past into your future. Exes are good for experience, but not for templates. You may talk about them in casual discussions, but comparing and contrasting keeps them there. You are dating a new, different person. STOP IT.
8) Rush the future – slow down, if it is meant to be, trust me it will happen. Rushing things makes the flame die early. Keep it fresh, while never forgetting it is still a commitment. Remember, time only moves forward and no one wants to miss the present.
9) Not give the Goodies – if you are not giving it up, someone else out there will. I would hope that once you have decided to become committed to someone, it will be someone you are willing to make love to. If not, it should be an issue spoken of before hand, so there are no infidelity problems.
10) Get Physical – it is a form of disrespect, and constant physical attacks are abuse. Every conflict can be resolved by verbal communication and compromise. It is wrong for either gender to hit another or each other. If you cannot fix the problems yourselves ask others for opinions or see a counselor together. BUT, don't let people know all your problems, keep it to your close friends. When friends are too involved their opinion can become yours, but it is YOUR relationship. All you need is advice. In the end it is up to you and your partner.
Note: Send your comments about this post to:
Twitter: @NikkiRabbiitt
Join, Submit, & Follow us at: www.paceworldmedia.blogspot.com
Twitter: @paceworldmedia
