How to Join the Illumanati!


All of these years of secret handshakes, conspiracy theories, and pyramids and we've finally found out the membership requirements

Follow these steps and you'll be super rich, powerful, and unstoppable!

1. Get signed to Roc-a-Fella records.

2. Become an extra in Kanye's "Monster" video remake since the original video was leaked.

3. Always carry a dollar bill in your back pocket...not in your front pocket...your BACK pocket!

4. Shake someone's hand firmly. Particularly a rich white guy's hand. But if that's not possible...Delonte from around the way will do just fine.

5. Go to your local seamstress and get a triangle stitched on the back of a cute black jacket.

6. Capture a bald eagle.

7. Get a job at the George Bush Sr. Library and Museum. You can be a customer service greeter or a flash light cop, just make sure you score a job.

8. Dress up as drag queen or become a monster and listen to Lady Gaga

9. Simply have one of your friends make a YouTube video about you and include background music with organs, tubas, and don't forget the violins.

10. Take a picture of ONLY 1 of your eyes, and then photo-shop a triangle around it.